Freedom!!!

Every little drop drenched me from head to toe,
As the sky broke on me like an all time foe,
With nothing above me I stood there helpless,
You not around, but a Strange sense of freedom had set in,
your voice still in my head, could hear every sound.
A long rattling had set in my head, Unable to recognize,
lost in some delusion, unbearable was the pain,
Identity, is what I was looking for?
Your face all around, but not a bit of mine for sure.
As the smoke from the pot filled my empty brain,
A sense of euphoria had set in and I stopped to blame,
The unseen shackles broke loose
As I screamed to get noticed, not your shadow, for sure
The every notes my guitar screeched,
The love song gone bad, but who cares? Not me!!!
As I touched my heart, blood spilled all over,
By the door way, I looked through the window longing for a shower.
All the pain begins to feel like pleasure
With no more tears to make a sea in desert,
Every memory like a pinch of salt on my wound
But I can't help it ended up saying thank you,
I am just a fool always having my heart set on you,
Till the time you started changing the rules,
But I kept on chasing the sole of your shoes,
Because I am a fool, had set my life and moments only for you,
I leave again because I was waiting in vain,
If I say my heart is sore, sounds like a cheap metaphor,
So I won't repeat, will set out once more.
Searching for love as I can't take this pain any more.

The Search!!!

With the sunshine tucked aside as I walked past the green stretch, my feet got kissed and the gentle breeze wrapped my soul. My longing soul looked past the green vastness to the extent where it met the blue serenity, and I wondered in such a big world where can I find my love. Wide eyed, as I captured the beauty which lay before me my heart kept beating with excitement and prediction that, its not far.

But I walked past many lands, sailed through the seven seas, and my search for eternal love continued. Chuckle of the birds matched the trickle of the streams as occasional drizzle washed away all my inhibition. Little tired, gathered my strength and brushed aside any thoughts of uncertainty....I moved on.

Passing the meandering path across the valley, every bend gifted me a beautiful sight, as if the entire world has conspired to make me move till I find my Love. The surprises brought in the smile on my face, but some where deep down inthe heart asmall patch of sadness kept brewing!!!
Then I met the Happy Couple, seeing their togetherness and undying love for each other, I felt as if the Time has stopped for a moment to celebrate their love. As I bid adieus to them, the desperation in me just grew more and I felt the pain ripping apart my heart, my soul. Will I really find my love? But......I moved on.

I searched through many faces, I searched through many hearts....but everytime I missed the extra beat of my heart, everytime I missed the glow in myeyes, everytime I missed the tremble in my body....It was like a closed door behind which lay my happiness, but I never had the key!!! The Frustration kept pulling me down and I ended up asking is Love so impossible?

But then I remembered the happy couple, I remembered the sun drenched green stretch where the love birds sang a song while the flowers bloomed to declare the arrival of spring. I remembered the bunch of village belle as they sang and danced their way back home, with happiness written all over their face. With happiness somuch in abundance how can be Love so far.....I moved on.

The Sun too called it a day as it vanished behind the red clouds. Then I entered another wonderland, as the moonlight got melted in the water while thousand stars shown on me. Longing grew more as I took refuse under the dark sky. As I looked up I got lost in the vastness. Followed the stars and drew my imagination, being lit by thousand twinkles. The gentle start ended up in madness as I scribbled across thesky. My thoughts did a rampage on the entire black board as they danced along with the stars.

Slowly the thoughts got blurred as I closed my eyes laying there under the gentle touch of the breeze and a little hope flickering inside that tomorrow will be a new day when I will find my love.......

A LOVE SONG – STRANDED
I closed the door behind me.
I saw the world waiting outside.
I realized I was awake and back
From where I had gone with my dreams.
The clutter, the pauses – these brought me Back to the crowd,
And time ran past – a slow song,
Before I walked back, the day caught me,
In its arms and pushed me ahead Into the ring.
I faltered my steps,
But I got on - I was ready for the day.
Without you beside me, Without you holding me.
I reached my door and saw my soul lying all alone, sleeping.
One could, almost see the sadness across him.
I don't want to wake up for good – I don't want to leave my perfect world.
You say what is it with the dreams
After all it will end some time and that how can you hold it for ever
Its a dream after all and I say its fine
Its a dream for sure but It is my world
My thoughts my desires you know.
Nobody to question, nobody to stop me
My life is the very way I wanted it to be.
Nobody to question my boundless love for you
Nobody to question my desperation too
Nobody to ask even how and why - It may be unreal
But it is my world And it is all for you.

Lost emotions and Hope alive!!!

Now we are 1000 miles apart…no remote chance to accidentally bump on to each other. No chance of the occasional calls. I think I should have been happy with all the reasons gone for me to be bothered, but somewhere deep inside something kept bothering me with a pinch of pain. I think that’s the drawback of the first relationship. Your gateway to the emotional floodgate, which just takes away all your guard to protect your emotional self. Your reasons to see this life in the colourful shade and feel happy without much reason. At the end of the day, all said done, this is one thing which will always be there with you how much you try to release it…..so you better be living with it!!!

This last note to bid adieus to you,
This last note to bid adieus to all the time which is ours,
This last note to bid adieus to all the tears which is ours,
This last note to bid adieus to all the smiles which is ours,

This is the last note but will remain always with me,
This is the last note but will always be your remembrance,
This is the last note but will always be my wealth,
This is the last note but will always be ever new.

This last note for you expressing my boundless feelings,
This last note for you expressing my undying attachment,
This last note for you expressing the little bitterness left over,
To express my earnest desire….if I could stop the time once.

The hand that lead me to death....

Just hold me there , don’t let me loose,
I have held those hands for so long, those hands kept me up,
Scared of falling beating the dust, hurt and all bruised
But as time passed away the indifference set in making it just a bind,
A bind just for the sake of it but not the one which once held two souls,
Realizing the unknown fear I held the hands stronger,
Blazing sun burned me down as I walked through the barren land,
Still with the hope to find my heaven at the end of the treacherous track,
As the bleeding foot steps followed me I kept moving on as the sand creped in my skin,
I looked in your eyes and saw the heaven not far away.
Seeing what I had longed for so long in your eyes,
I ignored all the uncertainities, all the difficulties and moved on.
My thirsty soul squimmered in pain as I looked at you,
With a blank stare you looked away
as you talked about all the interesting things which lie ahead.
But still held my hand and my tired bruised legs took the next step.
Then finally came heaven and, surprised, I looked around,
Prosperity and gaiety had lit up the sky and could hear laughter all abound,
Happy and beautiful souls smiled at us as we moved ahead,
Looking for the abode for which we crossed all the lands.
As my tired eyes kept looking for the home, your all excited self looked around
The glint in your eyes and the smile attracted all around,
As time passed away you got lost in the crowd
And I lost the hand which I held so long to reach the dream, to reach the heaven.
Tired feet revolted, my eyes, tired, left my side, as I roamed around the busy street,
I fell, now and then, took shelter in a shack to heal my bruise,
But still had a hope to find you and hold that hand once again.
Occasional rain drenched my soul to pick up all the strength to move on,
The water seeped in making my longing for you even stronger
Occasional kind souls gave their hand to help me be on my feet,
But, still in pride, I refused as I declare about the hand I once held.
Then the news struck me one fine day that now you are the One!!!
Everybody wanted to be with you, everybody wanted to be a part of your life,
Enough accomplices to look after you and your need, but not my love
Enough accomplices to splurge prosperity, but not my commitment,
I stood at the end of the crowd as my heart cried silently,
I realized that the dream what you showed me was nothing but a mirage.
Lost in the game I realized what a fool I had been,
Blamed myself and questioned my ability as I asked myself,
Giving up all in Love, how could I do that mistake?
Trusting someone and commit my life, how could I do that mistake,
All said and done realizing my mistake, The reality dawned on me,
As I looked around seeing all the light, all the gaiety, all the smile,
But all seems to be so fake and unreal as I tried touching them,
My desire to feel them got reflected back, shattering my Dreams.
I bid you my last adieus from far behind the crowd
Which got lost somewhere, as you looked away busy being part the crowd.
I left the door and saw the rough spread of never ending barren land,
Which I once crossed holding your hand, and I am back there again.
With no defense by my side, being lost my battle,
the sun rose on me even stronger, The hot wind blew even harder,
I kept questioning my existence, after loosing my love,
As the sense of defeat spread from my heart to every inch of my body,
Slowly my dragging feet stopped, the bruises which were healed opened up,
Eyes, which once appreciated your beauty, blinded by the raging sun, closed,
thinking how near is the end, as few drops rolled down my freckled skin.
Everytime I fell, picked up myself, questioning that was it all worth giving up?
Fought so hard that, I almost lost my identity,
but the reality settled down as the last rays of the sun got lost in the far sky.
My motionless body lay on the soil as thousand stars shown on me,
Lifted my soul above the mortality and showed me the way.
The wind caressed my dead body in an attempt to wash away all the dust
To prepare the end, to celebrate the end of my life, death of my love.